"You are a very inspiring woman!" she told me.
And I thought to myself: what is she talking about? Why is she telling me this? Am I? An inspiration to whom?
After all, my action was to ‘find’ myself in the new place. I was fully into it. to cope with my fears, to cope with what is new surroundings.
I was in the doing because I was afraid to be “in the being”.
"You arrived in a relocation and it was difficult for you at first. You did not give up and you did not remain in the position of the victim. You grew out of your difficulty, out of tears.
You could have given up so many times."
Right. I thought to myself: how many times could I have given up? To take the small suitcase I came with and return.
I thought about it a few times at first.
I could have gone back the first month, when I stayed home alone between four walls.
I could have gotten upset when I had to study for another master's degree.
I could have stopped the PhD when the children were born, as my colleague did. Or when I had to change supervisors.
As I had to combine home, work and a PhD. It was though.
I could have left when I needed to find new friends after many of them went back to their country of origin.
I could have ‘victimized myself’ to the situation when friends left and I had to recalculate social routes.
But I didn't. I knew there was something else. I knew inside me that I would make it.
I knew no one would tell me "no" if I wanted it badly.
And my path took me there, to be there for other people who are in the same situation. To write a doctorate out of my need to understand what was happening to me. To us. And to develop, in order to help those who need, to find a home away from home.
And things worked out for me exactly as they should have.
Is location undermining your place?
I invite you to write to me, talk to me.
From experience, even one conversation can start an amazing change!
Dr. Efrat Tzadik
Expert in migration and integration
Certified coach for empowerment and personal development