When something bad happens to us, even if it is a small thing like a remark from someone or a judgment, we tend to give it a very big place in our being.
When good things happen to us, we don't dwell on them long and we don't always give them enough space.
Why? Because we are programmed that way in our DNA.
This is a response from ancient times. A response of the brain to survive in the face of real physical dangers. Today’s dangers are different, but the reactions are similar: flight, freeze or fight (some adds fawn).
I'll give an example: I was at a social event for work and I ate something that dripped on my beautiful clothes. A stain that cannot be hidden. I might feel very embarrassed and try to hide it in any possible way.
Why is this happening? Because our strong desire to belong, to be loved, is in danger.
In cases like this we should remember that we are not defined only by one mistake.
And as Claire from the series "The Good Doctor" said:
“When something bad happens, we have to remember that we are not defined by any one thing.”
Dr. Efrat Tzadik
Migration and integration expert
Certified coach for personal development and empowerment
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