There’s a saying in French: "Slowly, the bird builds its nest." This was one of the first sentences I learned in French class, and it’s stayed with me ever since.
Yes, I tend to want things done quickly, and I got used to the idea that things just happened in Israel—it was easier for me. But from the moment I arrived here, everything felt much harder.
Yet, I’ve been living outside Israel for so many years now, and what started to change began the moment I learned to live in this new place. To do the things I want to do. Here. Sure, I could study in English, but what would that really give me? Living between here and there again?
I decided—despite the difficulty—to study in French, which is actually my third language. I chose the hard way. But I chose it because it’s here. And because of this decision, I’ve met wonderful people. Locals. I’ve expanded my social network and improved my language skills. This network helps me to integrate better.
I’m not saying it’s all easy. Of course, there are challenges. It is difficult.
What the wife of Lot has to do with it?
When Lot and his family left their city, they were told not to look back for various reasons (I won’t go into the interpretations). Lot’s wife, however, looked back and became a pillar of salt.
This is what can happen to us when we relocate. We become stuck, unable to move forward. We compare everything to what was, long for what we had, or even look for something similar—but it’s never the same. And the sadness can be overwhelming. At least, that’s how it was for me. I lived there, and I lived here. I wanted what I had there—here. And it wasn’t easy.
Until I learned how not to turn my head, how to move forward at my own pace (even if it’s slow) and how to make this place my own.
And now, I’m doing what I love and what makes me happy. Here. Even if it’s different from what I had there.
Tell us, what helps you to integrate and not to look back?
Dr. Efrat Tzadik
Expert in migration, integration, identity and identification
Certified coach for personal development and empowerment
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