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A closed garden/Rachel (free translation)


Who are you? Why is my outstretched hand

Doesn’t meet a “sister-hand”?

And my eyes will wait a moment,

And here they are already fall down, embarrassed.


A locked garden. No path towards, no way.

A closed garden - human.

Should I walk away? Or hit the rock

Until blooding painfully?


How many times does it happen to us in social relationships that we try to reach a person in front of us and fail? A closed garden.

How many times do we try and the person is not ready to accept the outstretched hand?


We are disappointed and even feel rejected.

Is it about me? We torture ourselves with thoughts and thoughts.


Rachel asks:


Do I hit the rock until I bleed, or just let things go?


This is one of Rachel's beautiful songs that expresses in a few words the difficulties we all face in social integration, in dating, in finding our place in a new environment. For us and our children.


Hitting the rock, in my eyes, is the self-judgment that doesn't stop when you reach out to someone and your hand remains hanging. What did I do wrong? What did I say? The desire to get close to someone, facing no interest on the other side.


Sometimes hitting the rock pays off. But not always.

The understanding that there is another person in front of us with his own needs and desires can sometimes reduce the frustration. To accept the other side simply, without hitting a rock, we may be able to reduce the feeling of rejection.


In a new country, in a new culture there are codes of social behaviour. What we knew from home is not always accepted the same way in the new land. In order to understand the new culture a simple observation might help.


Reach out to the one who squeezes your hand with love.

How does this song touch you?


For us coaches and therapists, this is a song that raises quite a dilemma. Even as coaches we sometimes have such frustration when we reach out to people and they shut down.


What to do, hit the rock until it bleeds or walk away?


Dr. Efrat Tzadik

Expert in the field of migration and integration

Certified coach for empowerment and personal development

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